“The rare pleasure of being seen for what one is, compensates for the misery of being it.” – Margaret Drabble, Born Jun, 5, 1939.
The vast majority of the average assholes of planet earth will consign themselves to a lifelong practice of suppressing their true selves.
Put upon by the burden of just being fake and putting on an act. Made bitter by the cost of sacrificing “uncool” stuff they genuinely like. Jaded by having to pretend to like “cool” shit they actually hate.
Which is is why people like us need to call out that unspoken – perhaps even un-thought of “itch” that comes with being phony and resenting one's self for it, deep down.
Because it feels like such a relief to be able to shrug off even a little of this burden, even for a moment. And when someone can truly SEE us in this way, we know we have nothing to hide, so we let down our guard and open up.
And obviously, this is a much more suggestible state, where people are open to persuasion and influence.
We feel a kinship with those who can spot our inner selves. We can't help it. It's a powerful attractor.
Because everyone craves acknowledgement as an individual – who is unique and meaningful.
And that, my friends, is the devastating truth behind the illusion.
People feel like their inner selves are unique and rare. Because people keep their misery hidden, no one realizes how most of their worries and fears and anxieties are very common. Everybody is miserable in some way. No one really discusses or shares it.
But the truth is that people are pretty much all the same. The modern human condition is pretty broadly felt. You can be very general, and people will feel you're being very specific.
So when people find someone who can point to them and say “I know you – I get you – I see you” – you have their rapt attention.
Once they feel like you truly know them in this true and secret way that no one else shares with them – the things you suggest as solutions for their problems will be perceived as highly customized and carefully considered advice, tailored just for them.
This, of course, makes it more likely that people will follow your advice, or accept your offer.
<!—- lagniappe Here is my shortcut list of emotional “pain” points to hit that will connect with MOST people for MOST problems, and have them feeling that you must have walked a mile in their shoes to know their hidden inner selves so well. But remember, this is just because people don’t share their problems with others, so they mistakenly believe their feelings are rarer than they are. They will mistake broad guesses as being very specific insights, and that’s how this trick works. 1. Unmoving. Stuck where they don’t want to be. Stagnating by being frozen and unable to move forward to where they would rather be. This is frustrating, humiliating, and demotivating. 2. Uncertain. They don’t know what to do to get unstuck. Either there are no solutions to be found, or else there are too many to choose from and it’s overwhelming. If feels confusing, aggravating, and paralyzing. 3. Unsuccessful. Either they tried already to solve their issue and failed, or else they feel doomed to fail before they even begin. They feel that others are uniquely successful, or else they are uniquely meant to suffer without relief. This is debilitating, defeating, and isolating. Tap into these. Show them that you know how these feelings interact with the specifics of the problem you’re selling a solution to. They will feel like you see them, acknowledge them, and know them. And if you look like you don’t have the same problem they do, they will PRESUME you have a solution that works. And that presumption means they’re pre-sold. You’ve moved from “no” past “maybe” and into “yes” territory. From here, all that’s left to convince them of is “right now.” —->