If They Believe You Truly “See” Them, They Listen Closely to Your Advice

Margaret Drabble

“The rare pleasure of being seen for what one is, compensates for the misery of being it.” – Margaret Drabble, Born Jun, 5, 1939.

The vast majority of the average assholes of planet earth will consign themselves to a lifelong practice of suppressing their true selves.

Put upon by the burden of just being fake and putting on an act. Made bitter by the cost of sacrificing “uncool” stuff they genuinely like. Jaded by having to pretend to like “cool” shit they actually hate.

Which is is why people like us need to call out that unspoken – perhaps even un-thought of “itch” that comes with being phony and resenting one's self for it, deep down.

Because it feels like such a relief to be able to shrug off even a little of this burden, even for a moment. And when someone can truly SEE us in this way, we know we have nothing to hide, so we let down our guard and open up.

And obviously, this is a much more suggestible state, where people are open to persuasion and influence.

We feel a kinship with those who can spot our inner selves. We can't help it. It's a powerful attractor.

Because everyone craves acknowledgement as an individual – who is unique and meaningful.

And that, my friends, is the devastating truth behind the illusion.

People feel like their inner selves are unique and rare. Because people keep their misery hidden, no one realizes how most of their worries and fears and anxieties are very common. Everybody is miserable in some way. No one really discusses or shares it.

But the truth is that people are pretty much all the same. The modern human condition is pretty broadly felt. You can be very general, and people will feel you're being very specific.

So when people find someone who can point to them and say “I know you – I get you – I see you” – you have their rapt attention.

Once they feel like you truly know them in this true and secret way that no one else shares with them – the things you suggest as solutions for their problems will be perceived as highly customized and carefully considered advice, tailored just for them.

This, of course, makes it more likely that people will follow your advice, or accept your offer.

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