An Education in Bad Language for the Beginning Potty-Mouth

P. G. Wodehouse

“I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit.” – P. G. Wodehouse, Born Oct. 15, 1881.

Oh, Pelly-boy, that may have cut the mustard back in your time, but these days you have to be a complete artist.

Cursing is when you wish ill upon your enemies. As in, I pray to White American Jesus that he inflict some inexplicable and terrible pain on the sensitive body parts of people who make copywriting and marketing out to be more difficult than it is… For example.

Swearing is when you take an oath to do something profane. As in, I swear to actual brown-skinned Jewish Jesus that I am going to continue skewering the the sacred cows of the “industry” and prove that most of what they “teach” is flat out wrong… For example.

Profanity is something that blasphemes against a certain religion. As in, little weird looking medieval baby Jesus can drag me straight to hot hot hell if I'm wrong about copy being pretty damn easy. (But he won't because he ain't real)… For example.

Obscenity is something (usually sexual) that is considered offensive by normal moral standards. As in, people who insist teaching others that they must waste time on pointless, profit-less busy work before they can sell stuff with words can go butterfly kiss ayahuasca alien Jesus on his tiny grey pecker… For example.

Vulgarity is lacking in good taste or referring crudely to sex stuff or bodily functions. I feel like I covered that already.

Finally, cussing is American slang for using cuss words. As in, fffffuuuuuuuuuuuuckyBOO. I make up my own cusses. Because I'm an artist.

But look, here is the thing. If you want to build an audience around a topic – in addition to providing the “content”: curse their enemies, swear to serve them, be profane against the status quo, be obscenely honest with them, be as vulgar as real life, and hey – cuss sometimes if you want to.

It makes cool people laugh, and whiny-Betch-babies cry.


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